Selfcare

This quote is really hitting me hard and I feel like most days I am the sunshine in many peoples lives except for my own and I feel horrible because I can always cheer someone else up but not myself. Again I feel my depression getting the best of me while I'm here. So instead of being everyone else's sunshine I have to start being my own sunshine. It warms my heart when my friends and other people say that I made their day better. I felt like I contributed something positive to the world. While all this may be nice what about Destinee's happiness? For next week my goal is to focus on my own happiness instead of everyone else I need self care time as Dr. Kyburz always mentions. That is exactly what I'm going to do.

This is what is what I don't understand and I'm still having trouble understanding this I always thought relaxing was something you do as a reward not a necessity that's what my parents taught me. I have now learned that this is not true and this is something that you need to do in order to keep yourself up. I will now start doing this and focus on me. #selfcareisimportant

My New found family

I am so excited that I can call two people that mean a lot to me family. I met them in august and spending time with them everyday has made me even closer to them. Not everyone is going to sit there while your balling your eyes out about some family issues and console you. Not everyone is going to pick up the phone in the middle of the night just because you have a nightmare but these to friends will.  At first it was hard letting someone get so close me and the last person to get this close to me was my boyfriend and we've been strong and sticking together for 2.5 years. I get tired of him sometimes yes but he has become like my family and not I have an addition. My dad could tell that I was happier about being at school so I told him about my new found family and he said just be aware don't get too relaxed around them.


I believe this is going to workout I mean again positivity is key and it's what's going to get me through college. I hope I never lose my friends. I understand that not everything is going to be peachy. Welll I'm nervous but lets see how this goes. I hope I didn't speak too soon.

Staying positive

Through trying to get through this negative vibes I have about NIU this quote really speaks to me. I'm starting to think maybe it's because I'm not opening my mind wide enough to new experiences. Maybe if I start being positive and opening my mind the experience will get better. OK I'm taking this idea and I'm running with it. I am going to keep my head held high and I'm going to keep pushing through this regret I have about choosing this school. I can't move forward with negative energy.

I may be feeling like I don't wanna be here but my depression isn't helping me stay positive but it's going to be okay. I'm going to keep looking at positive quotes and keep the positive vibes flowing in and the negative vibes flowing out. I also have God on my side. I got this!

College life update

I am ready to pull my hair out and I want to get back to my city and I want to be able to go home after school like high school. I love my classes but I wanna transfer to a college in my home town. I feel like I'm going crazy and my parents keep asking me why I keep coming back here and I keep telling her I miss it at home and she won't listen. I even told my mentor I don't like here.  I wanna be like one of my closest cousins who just goes to class and goes home and goes to work. I get so envious of here because I don't have that option because I live too far away from that school.



Like my GIF above GET ME OUT OF HERE! I am tired of NIU but maybe not the whole NIU just my social life here. I love my classes and my professors I just hate the environment in which they both exist in like god can I move the location of the school. So I talk to my mom every night and she reassures me that everything will be OK but everything keeps going in one ear and coming out of the other.  God please get me through this.

College life so far

Oh how I miss Chicago. I miss being able to sit down and have dinner with my family. Sitting in the living room talking and watching TV. Now I sit in my dorm room and cry because I miss these moments. After the first weekend I moved in I have been going home every weekend and I am trying so hard not to go back. Dekalb is so boring compared to my home. There was always something to do in Chicago and I find myself sooooo bored all the time. I am a really big family person and grew up around a lot of people so this was definitely a difficult time for me.  I am slowly adjusting to this but I am considering transferring to a college in Chicago.


I talk to my family everyday and they tell me to stay strong and fight through the urge to come home and that they will always love me. But me being Destinee that went in one ear and came out the other.  I miss them so much and little do they know I can't stand being this far from them. They mean the world to me and I love them so much. I can't wait till my next visit to Chicago.

Thoughts On English 103 So Far

I remember my junior year in high school I took AP Language arts.  I was able to pass the class with a C but I was disappointed in myself because I took the class because I thought I was a good writer but my teacher didn't think so apparently. At least not good enough for an A or an B. That class did help me strengthen my written and now I appreciate taking that class. Now that I am a collegiate scholar I find myself enjoying writing and expressing myself. I feel very confident that I will be able to perform well in English 103.


English 103 is a class that I am really enjoying right now especially writing the micro-theme. I can actually write a paper about how I feel about something and I appreciate that. In high school I just use to write 8 page papers about some sort of research and that really made me hate writing.  When Dr. Kyburz talked about this assignment I was excited to get started because now I could express in a paper a problem I saw and talk about how it affects me.  I look forward to many interesting writing topics Dr. Kyburz may throw my way. I am feeling good about English 103!

"This is water" response

1. I really enjoyed how deep the message was and I feel like in order to completely digest the whole speech you have to be open to what the author was trying to say. 
2. One thing that really struck me was when he was talking about how the whole world doesn't revolve around you and you have to keep in mind what other people could be going through. I feel like a majority of the message was about being present in the moment and don't leave your brain on auto pilot. Stop rushing and just slow down and think about life and how you are not going through this thing called life alone. someone else is probably going through the same thing you are. 
3. When the video first started the whole question of "What is water?" got me thinking like how do you describe water and then I started thinking in broader since like it was a metaphor for life.